Sunday, March 29, 2009


SCHOOL DAY STARTS.. I and my brother both go to school together and our grandmother send us for the first day and helps us find the room in each of us and talk to our teachers. I didn't expected her to do that but I'm happy that she did and felt that she really love and care for us both of which i didn't feel from my mother.

Days passed and a month in school but me, i could say that i don't understand or i should say I'm dull in the class. My teacher really confused of what to do to me because of all her students she felt that I'm the dullest and she ask me why but i can't answer her. I don't know either what happen to me why I'm too slow to her class in fact I'm not like this when i was on my first grade. Even if the test exam was repeated for three times, i still don't get it and still i got the lowest score which was embarrassing to everyone in the class. I could tell that my mind was so empty and my teacher don't know what to do for me. She did talk to her closest friend teacher one lunch break about me that I'm the dullest student of hers and don't know what to do to me and i was there and heard them but didn't care. In fact she pointed me to tell her that I'm the one they're talking about and that makes me embarrass because she didn't care if i get hurt from it. What i did was i look down and grab my pencil and my paper and wrote my name at the top of each page. I almost cried, feeling alone and wanted to go home but my mind says no so i didn't. I have no friends in my class because nobody likes me i think it's because I'm dull , shy, and maybe they find me boring to be with. Some were like to tease me using the words dullest in the class over and over and I'm not used to fight with them so i just be quiet.

After the embarrassing moment, i had realized for myself that i need to pen up mind and try to show them specially my teacher that I'm not so dull. I tried my best to listen and understands in my class and then start to volunteer answering the class. One time while i was on the blackboard answering the simple math problem, i didn't knew that my seatmate was thief so when i came back to my seat she smiles to me and i was surprise why. When our teacher told us to grab our paper because she will make a test exam, i was wondering why my bag was open. When i try to get my paper, i didn't find it and i start to panic where was it and when i saw my seat mate's paper it was mine. I told her that it was my paper that she had and i can tell it because i put my name on the top of each page and even if she detach those printed names, i still can read my name on it. I also told her that on the back cover i wrote my name and she turn it but i saw that she erase it so she strongly deny it. I start crying so our teacher heard and ask what's going on so i tell her and then she approach us. But my classmate told her that her mother bought her 1pack of paper that early morning but i knew that she don't have a paper because she ask some from our classmate. I also pointed that i wrote my name on each top page and still you can see it and on the back cover also but still she denied it infront of our teacher. Our teacher believes me but my classmate started to cry so what our teacher did was she split the paper and give it to us.

When i came home from school, i told my grandmother what happened to me in my class and i ask her to come over on the next day to help me ask my teacher to get back my paper from my classmate. I wanted to get it it back because it was my budget for the whole month. The next day afternoon, i was happy because she come over to see my teacher and talk to her and that makes my classmate scared to death because she didn't even knew that my grandmother would show up in the middle of our class. But i was disappointed because my teacher told her that it's just fine and that she split the paper to be fair. It makes me feel that she's protecting my classmate and that was OK for her that my classmate steal something from me and still can get a chance to do it again to someone in the class. What she was did to make my grandmother impress her was that she told me to move in the front seat and that the one who's in the front seat will move to my seat. So my grandmother didn't complain and then she left.

The next day, my classmate who had just move to my seat cried because the same thing was happen to her and that her seatmate stole her paper and denied it. Our teacher again did the same thing, she split the paper because the thief cried and tell the same story and what makes me wonder was why did she protect this girl? After i came home from school, i told my grandmother that the same thing was happen to my classmate who move to my seat. I then told her that i won't go to school anymore because i don't like to be with that teacher anymore. She didn't like of what i had decided but i didn't wanted to go back to school again and if i do I'll just go back home and continue my studies there. So she had nothing to do and i didn't go back to school again and my teacher send a letter to my grandmother asking what happened to me. She replied and told her that I'm no longer coming back to her class.

One afternoon, my mother arrive and that makes me so happy because i have now a chance to come with her going back home. My grandmother told her about what had happen to me in school and then i beg her to come with her back home and wanted to continue my studies there. I was so glad that she said "OK I'll bring you back home" so i never wasted my time i then pack my clothes even if my mother still like to stay for two days there. About my brother, he's doing good in his class his teacher really admire him because he so industrious,behave, not slow in her class and neat so he stayed. I know i will miss my grandmother and my brother but they understand me. I am so happy that i finally get back home..

Friday, March 27, 2009


While the summer wasn't over yet, my mother sent me to my grandmother which was a half day drive from our home. She said that my grandmother needs someone to help her and to be with her each night because she was alone in her big creepy house or i should say an antique house. Most of the things that she had were antique which was she got from her parents and from her decease husband. She was a half Spanish and she could speak Spanish too and i love her because she did good for me. Everyday, morning and early night we always knelt down in prayer to her altar and what surprise me the very fist time of our prayer was that it was Spanish and that i didn't knew of. I couldn't even answer her prayers because i have no idea for that but she teach me until i get used to it.
At first, i was so scared at her house plus my decease grandfather's things were still there i don't know why my grandma still kept them. And besides, I'm feeling lonely and sad because i really miss my home specially my mom. It took time for me to recover being far from my family until i learned to like the place. Time passes by but my mother didn't even visit me and that makes me mad but i then realized that maybe she has no money to spend visiting me and my grandmother which i kinda understand and kinda feel upset also.
When the summer was almost over, my mother show up at last and i was so happy to see her and cried because i really misses her from them all. My older brother was with her and at first i thought he will be the one to stay with my grandmother and i will be going back home but i was disappointed. I didn't knew that we both will stay there and that we'll go to school there together which make me feel mad for her. I wanted to go home not because i hate to stay in my grandmother but because i wanted to see the rest of my family and our home but i can do nothing. So the next day my mother leave and she told us that we should be good to my grandmother and help all the chores in her house. I really cried while she leave and wanted to come with her but it didn't happen. She just said that she'll visit us every month to make me feel better but i know she won't so i cried until she's gone.But my brother was just calm and he didn't even cry watching her leave.
After then, my grandmother enroll us in the school there which was not so close from our house. I would say my brother was very industrious boy and that he helped my grandmother everything in the household chores and in her little farm and garden. But me, i am opposite to him that time because i don't really feel doing things i felt lazy all the time. I don't know but i just don't like to help so i and my brother were always fighting. At that time, he was the favorite grandson to her so i kinda understand and didn't complain because i knew why.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


I was born in a poor family and I'm the youngest one. We're a big family, i have 6 brothers and 2 sisters. My father works in a factory were he just got a low wage and sometimes they got paid delayed. My mother was just at home and take care of us and she also take care of our farm where we also help her plant some crops. I grew up in a hard living that we have and sometimes we're running out of foods to eat. Sometimes our mother leaves us to visit my father in the city where he works and hope to ask some money to buy some foods for us. That time i only have my older sister and one brother that left to take care of me. I remember those times when my mother leaves us without anything to eat and we just ask our neighbor for foods to eat in a single meal and on the next meal we have nothing to eat. We were always have two meals instead of three meals in a day. But despite of all, i kinda understand and never complain to my parents because i know how they felt for our living. I never experience in my childhood having a better living because as time goes by we're still struggling in our hard life. It's not quiet for us having a new clothes,shoes and stuff like that because we only bought the important needs for us which is our food.

Until i got to school, i really don't like going to my class because i don't have a complete stuff for it. I felt like i don't belong to be with everybody in my class because I'm just the only one who doesn't have everything and beside some of my classmates used to tease me. I just sit down on my chair and cry and don't need someone to talk to. I would say that i am a shy girl back on my days. I don't really like to make friends to those whom i felt like an arrogant, boastful and selfish one.

I'm always absent in my class because i don't like to and i just don't need to study. My mother were not at home sometimes because she's at my father in the city and because of that she doesn't know what I'm doing and i don't even know if she cares about my studies either. Why? Because she didn't even ask me how's my studies or if i did go to school everyday while she's gone. But i got luck on my first grade because my teacher was so nice to me and she sometimes understands me. She did wanted to help me and she always ask me to come with her into their house and stay there for me to be in the class all the time. But i always refused her because I'm not used to be in someones else's house and besides I'm ashamed to with them. But i really do appreciate her kindness to me and in fact she's my favorite teacher on elementary days.

Even if I'm always absent in my class, i still passed as the year ends for my first grade. I think it's because my teacher feel pity for me and besides I'm not dull in the class. She told me back then that if i didn't always absent in the class, maybe i could be one of the honor student she have. But for me, what she did was enough for me and i appreciate it. If only i could tell her that but i didn't get a chance to say those words to her because i don't have the courage to approach her and tell her what i had felt. After months of our school ends she got ill and died and all i did was to come over to her funeral because my mother was there too and i just prayed for her soul. Everyone she knew was there and said that she's such a good person and i agree. I just knew then that she was my father's second degree cousin and that my father told me.